Sobriety Checkpoint: The Kiwi-Stawberry Snodka

I'm always talking about making drinks with 3 ingredients or less.

Why?

Because I'm lazy.

Not to mention, a shitload of ingredients can potentially equal a shitload of $$$. And frankly, if I'm gonna throw down serious cash to drink, I'm not boozin' in my apartment. You pay for labor kids...you pay dearly.

So, this week's checkpoint might just be some common sense to those of you with a light wallet and a heavy drinking problem.

It's easy, it's delicious, and if you use GEORGI^© vodka it'll cost you under $5 for 2 strong drinks.

WHAT YOU'LL NEED:
1/2 Bottle of Snapple^© Kiwi-Strawberry
2 Shots Vodka
5 Ice Cubes
1 Pint Glass

Combine and Enjoy!

Here at The Brooklyn Nester, we're big on taste and low on class.

Enjoy the weekend and your Snodkas bitches!

You say tomato, I say a bag of them.

Awesome adventures in horticulture continue here at The Brooklyn Nester.

We've found an environmentally friendly way to grow tomatoes, on your wall! (Or any weird spot you can think of in your tiny-ass apartment.)

What's great about these little bags of tomato-goodness is that they don't make a mess and they'll grow all year long. You can keep the bag outdoors (weather permitting, my little Brooklynites) or indoors.

Oh, and I should mention that you only have to water them once and they're set for life.
How, you ask?
Well...they come with these nifty crystals that release water to your tamaters over time. So this is like, the most low-maintenance project, ever.

We purchased this "Magic Tomato Grow Bag Kit" from a company called: Clean Air Gardening. It comes with three bags for the plantin' and cost us a total of $27.97 (w/ground shipping).

We will keep you updated as to the progress of our red, fruity friends. We still have yet to plant (bag?) our tomatoes. But hopefully they'll be looking as yummy as the one's on the website (pictured above) in the near future.

So, go green like the rest of the freakin' nation.
It's the least you can do for Al Gore's chubby ass.

Nesting Abroad!

Well nester's, I'm back. And boy was my vacation swell.
I apologize, sincerely, for the lack of posts, but, hopefully these Canadian highlights will make it all worth it!

Ok. So here is a WWII memorial. But, make note of the flag that is missing here. We got the Brits, the Canadians, and the U.S.....oh wait! No American flag?!
So, even Canadians, the most neutral muthafuckas on Earth hate us! Another proud moment in U.S. history!

Yeah, so Canadian cuisine left something to be desired.
We didn't eat at this joint, but, we thought it was fucking hilarious.
I'm not sure what Canadian food is, but, I'm pretty sure that it probably doesn't mesh with Chinese.

These frozen yogurt places were EVERYWHERE. I don't know why Canadians can't just call it "Frozen Yogurt." Fuckin' weirdos.

Okay. So, all Canadian weirdness aside, this was fantastic.

Niagara Falls was fucking amazing. You see pictures of this place and you think when you actually get there it won't blow you away because you've seen this image so many times. But, seriously, you have no idea how ridiculously powerful this beaut of a natural wonder is...

The sheer amount of water pumping over this thing is just stunning.

I had a great time abroad, but, I was glad to fly back to my own nest!

Check out more pictures from our trip at addROC's flickr page!

Canada or bust, eh.

Yes bitches, this nester is flying the coop for a 4-day weekend.

My boyfriend and I are headed to his hometown for their annual Oatka Festival and then we're trekking up to ol' Canada, eh, to see the great Niagara Falls.

From what I understand, the Oatka Festival is a big ol' party on the bank of the Oatka creek in LeRoy, NY. We'll be eating, drinking (heavily, if I had to guess), enjoying air that isn't contaminated with smog, and walking along small-town streets that aren't littered with dog shit.

Yes, it's a time for wholesome family fun, and, there won't be one chore on the itinerary. I am trading in my rubber gloves for a beef on weck sandwich(the snack of choice at Oatka Fest).

And then it's off to our northernly neighbor.

I can't frickin' wait to feast my eyes on one of the world's seven wonders. While Niagara maybe be passe in some circles, I am stoked to bear witness to the once-height of vacationing class.

And, while we're living the high life in Ontario, I plan to do some gambling, AKA, drinking for free while beating my boyfriend's ass at magnetic horse-racing.

Enjoy your weekend in these United States, nesters. I'll be posting again Tuesday.

Maybe.

:)

Sobriety Checkpoint: Zywiec, the Champagne of Greenpoint

If you're a Greenpointer, this isn't news to you. But, for those of you who hail from other parts of this fat-bottomed borough and beyond, you may not know about this Polish delicacy.

Zywiec, pronounced je-wetz, seems to be Poland's favorite beer and after living on the Greenpoint/Williamsburg border for quite some time, this tasty brew has fast become a staple in my fridge as well.

In Greenpoint, depending on where you go to purchase your booze, sometimes it's difficult to find anything other than Polish beer, unless you want to tote home that 6-er of Bud tall-boys, again.

So, we started experimenting with the Polish flava, and found that, more times than not, it's a rewarding experience. Other Polish brews that I've tried and see regularly around town are: Okocim, EB, Piast, and Tyskie. And, that's just to mention a few. But, when in doubt, go with Zywiec. It's the beer that, from what I can see in da 'hood, is purchased the most by Polish drinkers.

So, while you're roasting away today, throw back some authentic Polish goodness.

Oh, I should mention that Zywiec's cheaper than Paris Hilton after a few Cosmos. Nice.

An Herb Grows in Brooklyn

Now, I know what you're thinking and you couldn't be more wrong!

Yes, something has sprouted in Brooklyn, but, the type of herbs growing on this roof are of an edible nature.

It turns out, my boyfriend, who has more than notable culinary skills, has decided that retail prices for fresh herbs are just too exorbitant. And so, in pursuit of the perfect seasoning for the perfect dish, on the cheap of course, he has sprouted (pun totally intended) a green-thumb.

Even I, the girly-girl that I am, have grown to love the little bit of green on our shitty little roof that overlooks Williamsburg Industrial Park.

Let's go in for the aerial shot:















Herbs and Veggies:

In the long, rectangular, green planter: Basil (on left), Parsley (on right). Herbal staples, I'm told.

In the small, circular containers: Both green and red jalapenos. Saucy!

In the Terracotta planter: A random vine plant. Excitement.

Ok, so maybe it's more like Martha Stewart gone-ghetto...but, hey, in this life some of us get a patch of earth and some of us get a pot of it.

I say, make the most of your outdoor space. It's always nice to see a bit of green in this concrete jungle, ghetto or not.

British Vodka: An Oxymoron? Or an International Innebriant?

So, you may recall from a prior post, Sobriety Checkpoint: The Fizzy, I recommended that you use Tanqueray^© Vodka.

And sweet Jesus, I still do.

But, I mentioned that your Polish and Russian retailers might give you shit for getting English vodka, only because it has been my experience that the Pols and Russians are devout worshippers of the vodka from their respective native regions.

Well. I was partially wrong.

Your vodka retailers may still give you the wonky eye, but the masses have spoken for themselves!

On the 4th of July, I was walking to a delightfully porky celebration at my friend Reid's humble abode and witnessed something that brought me much joy.

Yes, I saw four wasted, and I mean, WASTED Polish dudes. And these upstanding fellows were celebrating the independence we all hold so dear by drinking none-other-than: Tanqueray^© Vodka!

Now, maybe this brought me more pleasure than it could ever bring you...but, I was proud to know that there are at least four, very drunk Pols, who concur that English Vodka is synonymous with delicious, drunken, adopted national holidays!!!

Recommended Reading: Amy Sedaris Nests with a Buzz On Too!

Yes my little nesters, reading is good for your brain. And this relatively new Amy Sedaris book, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence, is a quirky and hilarious addition to any Nester's collection.

Amy Sedaris outlines her offbeat tips for the humble hostess and entertains as much as she informs.

While her recipes leave something to be desired, she keeps you laughing, so, at the end of the book, you really don't care if her Munchie ideas aren't the tastiest option.

The gems in this book are rooted in Sedaris's humor. She's kitchy and she's not afraid to laugh at herself.

Bottom line: Amy Sedaris may not have the know-how of Martha, but she's got style that will appeal to a younger, less neo-yuppie-conservative crowd. She's not afraid to get wasted while she's baking, and her happiness is in the pursuit, not the final product.

And, that's a mantra this Nester can get behind.

I highly recommend you add this charming book to your Nester's Reference Library.

Flipping Your Dishwasher the Bird

First things first. Fuck you if you have a dishwasher.

Why? Because, even though I'm about to tell you that by doing your dishes by hand you are helping sweet birds and other creatures, I still wish I had a goddamn washer for those nights when shit has to get done and I don't want to be the one to do it.

Now, with that out of the way...

I was reading the back of my Dawn^© bottle the other day and wondered, as I scrub-a-dub-dubbed the shit that was caked onto a plate from the previous night's dinner, if I actually was making a difference to some poor, helpless, little bird out there in the world. Had Dawn^© given me altruistic powers even I was unaware of?

Apparently. If you check out Dawn^©'s website, you can see that soap actually saves a shitload of our aquatic friends, fish and fowl alike. So, there is an upside to doing the dishes...or at least to buying the soap...

Sure, after a four course dinner, dishes are a big-assed-bitch. But, think of the birds people. Think of the birds.

A Nifty Nester Tip:
Did you know that your six-er of PBR is a sure-fire way to fuck up the lives of many a bird?!

Cut these nooses of death UP bitches!!!

I fucking hate Seagulls, but, the thought of them choking to death on a beach somewhere gets me down.

To Motivate, or not to Motivate...

So, you've established the tasks at hand.

You bought your trash bags, you have your Swiffer armed and ready with fresh dust grabbing power, and you've put on your grungy sweat pants that you won't wear out in public anymore.

Yes, it would seem you are ready for what was called in Vietnam, the shit. But then, you realize you've forgotten one thing: The Motivation.

You're ready to bring it, but, it just hasn't been brought.

So what do you do when you have all the tools, but, your couch suddenly seems like it should be made the top priority?

Fuck it.

Seriously, take a load off. You've accomplished the main thing. You got your shit together. Now, take a moment to reward yourself. The motivation will come eventually. Enjoy the filth for one more day. Have a nice, stiff drink, and just look at yourself...

It takes guts to wear those sweat pants.