2 Cakes To Rule Them All

addROC and I are now both officially ONE birthday away from landmark ages.

I turned 24 in early April, and addROC, or as I like to call him, Gramps, turned 29 just last night.

While I will, on occasion, search for crow's feet, I'm still far, far more concerned with birthday snacks.

There's nothing like celebrating with a big ol' birthday cake.
So this year, with both addROC and I clinging to our dear youths, as the ever-approaching, fat ol' round numbers edge closer, we decided that there is no time like the present to, as Marie Antoinette so fervently declared, "Let Them Eat Cake!!!"



addROC is the best. So, when I came home from work on my birthday I had this bad boy waiting for me!!! And, yes, it was a Funfetti Cake. It was awesome and mammoth. We ate it for days and days. It was glorious.

For addROC's birthday, I knew I had to make his favorite: Boston Creme Pie.

It was my maiden voyage with this cake, addROC's Mom provided me with the recipe that she used to make him every year, for every birthday.

I was intimidated. In the past, I have purchased said Boston Creme Pies at fine baking establishments. But, I did it, and it was reeeal good. Maybe not as good as his Mom's, but, I still get an A for effort. Right Gramps?

The Boston Creme Pie:

1. Make Cake.


2. Make Custard.


3. Combine Cake and Custard.


4. Drown Cake and Custard with Chocolate Glaze.


5. Feed the Birthday Boy!!! Happy Birthday addROC!!!


Frikkin' Yummy.

One Funfetti Cake. One Boston Creme Pie.
Two Cakes to Rule Them All.

Happy Birthday!!!

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary: Seed Starting

(Painting By: Maxfield Parrish)

Spring has sprung, Nesters, and there is no time like the present.

Even if you are living in the tiniest apartment in Brooklyn, there is no excuse not to do a bit of gardening. Even if you've got just one viable window.

Fortunately for us, addROC and I have a great little roof space. And, while it maybe not be the Ritz, this year, I've decided I am going to go crazy and attempt a ridiculous roof garden.

Here are the the first group of seeds that I've started:


1. The Scarlet O'Hara Morning Glory.
2. Wildflower Perennial Mix.
3. Wildflower Bluebonnet Mix.
4. Sweet Peas (the flower).


I am supremely stoked.

Even more so, because these pictures are from almost a week ago! There have been some serious developments to my tray of peat starters! I will update you very soon so you can see the sprouts and the new flowers and veggies we've started, right here in our own little Brooklyn kitchen.

Seeds are cheap. So, head to K-Mart and load up on flowers, edibles, and all the garden amenities that will make starting your Spring garden easy!

The Freaking "To-Go" Box

For Thanksgiving this year, my mother asked me to bring dessert.
And, of course, I brought, like, 3 pies.
So, because I knew addROC and I would be traveling from our neck-of-the-woods to my folks place out in Bay Ridge, I went to the The Broadway Panhandler and invested in a set of Assemble-It-Yourself cardboard pastry boxes.

Obviously, Thanksgiving has come and gone. And, let me tell you something: No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, I cannot get rid the these freakin' pastry boxes.

So, in a valiant effort to get the f#*kin' boxes out of my life, and into someone else's kitchen to take up inordinate amounts of truly invaluable space: I brought a cake to Reid's.

My Caramel Cake, inspired by the genius that is Smitten Kitchen, was a light, white, fluffy, delicious cake before it was corrupted by filthy, sticky, sweet and creamy caramel.

1. 100% Naked...and we think she's been working out. Lookin' reeeal good, Cake.


2. Caramel. Hot, hot Caramel.


3. Cake, Caramel, and a "To-Go" box. Classy and functional!


SUPER HELPFUL TIP:
Do yourself a frikkin' favor.
Buy your "To-Go" Boxes on a need-to-need basis.
Heed my advice or be stuck with a shit load of boxes that have no apparent purpose other than to remind you of the food you're not making, and to deplete precious, precious cupboard space!

Do You Know the Muffin Man?

The Muffin Man?

The Muffin Man.
Do You Know The Muffin Man,
Who Lives on Drury Lane?

Yes, actually, I do.
He invaded my apartment, raided my cabinets, and demanded that I make muffins. Lots of muffins.

It all started at the MET Supermarket in Greenpoint. Strawberries are on sale for $1.99. To me, this can only mean one thing, Spring! So, I snatched up my berries and high-tailed it to the check-out.

Upon returning to my apartment, there he sat, the little imp.
Yes, The Muffin Man.

And, I knew what to do.

1. Wash my Spring Cheap-O berries!


2. Dice berries and the use a Microplane to get the zest of one lemon.


3. Mix fruit into my versatile muffin batter-base, portion, and bake.


4. Devour.


5. Thank The Muffin Man for making a long trip from Drury Lane, creepy as he may be.

The Bitch's Strawberry-Lemon Muffins

INGREDIENTS
2 cups all-purpose flour
3 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup white sugar
1 egg
1 cup milk
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 cup diced Strawberries
Zest of One Lemon

DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
2. Mix the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar in a large bowl. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients.
3. In a small bowl, beat egg. Stir in milk, oil, and lemon zest.
4. Pour wet ingredients into the well of the flour mixture. Mix quickly and lightly with a fork until moistened, but do not beat.
5. Fold in strawberries gently, until just incorporated.
6. Portion batter evenly into 12 muffin cups or a muffin tin.
7. Bake for 25 minutes, or until golden.

The New Man in My Life

First things first.
My apologies for being a terrible/horrible/horrendous blogger.
I have been busy as hell, and when I do find a free moment, I'm a total slacker.
So, for those of you who have checked this blog faithfully, I want to say thanks, and, sorry. I hope to be a little bit better about posting.

In other news, I want to talk about my new man.
Mr. Clean.

Sure, you've used his liquid cleaners. But, ask yourself:
Have I tried the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser yet?

If your answer was "No," you need to get real. Because you are working too hard to clean your shit.

My bathroom was in really bad shape.
And when I say really bad shape, I mean, there was shit growing in there that I was afraid would spore out and make new colonies in my hair, skin, and mouth.

Bathing loses that refreshing feeling when you step out of the shower feeling dirtier than when you stepped in.
So, when we invited friends, and their baby, over for dinner, it was time to get down to the nitty-gritty. After all, I didn't want to be responsible for infecting our friend's child with a wild-mold-spore disease.

I got the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and did practically nothing except wave it over the nasty film of my tub, sink, and shower walls. And, as if Jesus were there waving his hands over my bathroom, blessing its near-damned soul, it was clean.

Go buy the Magic Eraser.
Like the holy gift of the ATM, you will wonder how you functioned in society before this product existed.

St. Paddy's Day Celebrations

Hi-Ho Nesters!!!
I know it's been awhile, but, I'm back with a special, beef lover's, St. Patrick's Day Special!!!

Fun times started over the weekend.

My Irish blood was boiling, so we decided to make it a culinary celebration!

Saturday it was a traditional boiled Irish supper.

We got to boiling some Chuck Steak in the slow cooker with: Guinness, Peppercorns, and a few Bay Leaves...


Later we added Potatoes, Cabbage, and Carrots. Mmmm....

But, the best was saved for the actual night of St. Patrick's Day.
addROC made a ridiculous Guinness marinated steak.
Which was cooked to perfection.



Then, we moved on to a traditional Irish treat that is so delectable and delightful, that its consumption with a beverage like Guinness or Jameson is ABSOLUTELY necessary, and really, just plain common sense.

The One...The Only....


IRISH SODA BREAD!!!!

We ate, drank, and were oh-so-very-merry.
Just as St. Paddy would have wanted it himself.

Cheers to the Irish!
Erin Go Bragh!!!

Cast Iron Skillet Cornbread

My mother gave both addROC and I gift certificates to the hot new kitchen store in SoHo, Sur La Table.

Naturally, addROC and I went apeshit.

After going to the store twice, contemplating this and that, checking out the SILPATS and bar spoons...we got a few very choice items.

addROC's favorite: The Cast Iron Skillet.

While, at first, this little toy just reminded me of cowboy eggs and French people, I've found that I've become quite fond of this heavy-ass pan.

So, when addROC made chili, we had to make cornbread. Off I went, mixing up the dry ingredients, like so:


Then, the wet ingredients:


And then, POP, into the oven, pan and all!

So fun, right? A pan, that goes in the oven and doesn't melt?!
And, it produced this gem-of-a-hunk-of cornbread:


Holla!

Now, all's I need is to make cowboy eggs and to find some French people to enjoy them with me!

But, for now, cornbread will have to do.

Tart Smarts

It's plainly obvious that I adore Christopher Kimball and everything and anything that has to do with America's Test Kitchen.

So, when I found myself in the dessert-y mood, I went straight to the Best of America's Test Kitchen 2008.

And there they were...calling my name. Rustic Free-Form Apple Tartlets.

So, I hopped-to and whipped up a new kind of pastry dough (one that requires no shortening, but uses cream cheese). Let it chill and rolled out my tiny tarts.

The apple filling was simple, leaving the fruit to speak for itself, which is always more satisfying then adding ooodles and ooodles of sugar and other crap.

It really couldn't have been easier.

Just make the dough, wrap it around some fruit, bake, and you're done.


The result?

The closest thing to buying awesomely awesome tarts from a swanky bakery.

These were phenomenal. And so frikkin' easy.

So, I was able to escape my pie obsession for a few days, only to become obsessed with Rustic Free-Form Tartlets. I am definitely going to make these again and experiment with other fruits.

OMG like Strawberry....

Chris Kimball...yet again you have proven that you are a God among us mere mortals.

Let Them Eat Cake(s): Valentine's Aftermath

Last night I decided to continue my tradition of making cupcakes for Valentine's Day.

I was stoked on the L train just thinking about the little suckers.
I'm not really much of a cake person, but, there is something just wonderful about little, self-contained cakes.
A single serving, a dainty treat, so darling.
Such a cute little snack was meant to be baked on the most lovey-dovey day of the year.

But, after much anticipation, I realized I forgot the frosting when I finally got to the apartment. I had too many things to get together, so, out of frustration, I almost scratched the idea all together.

Then, I saw the food coloring in the cupboard.

If they can't be frosted, then damn it, they will be pink. So, off I went.

First: Pink batter.



Next: Into the oven, just like Hansel and Gretel. Only, if these cakes had been those children, they totally would have died.


Finishing Touches: Making these cupcakes as cheesy as possible for addROC, because, what would Valentine's Day be without a sickeningly sweet message to send him into the throes of passion?

Yes. I made a heart out of baby-cakes that reads: "I <3 U BABY CAKES."

Does that make me a loser?
Probably.

But, in the end, loser or not, I made some cute-ass cupcakes. Delectable for zee munchin'!

Enjoy your weekend Nesters!
Happy President's Day!

And, Happy 100th Post to us here at The Brooklyn Nester!!!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm sending some love out to you all, faithful Nesters!

Make something tasty for the one(s) you love!

And, if you don't have the time, or the patience, to make cupcakes...then promise me you'll eat an inordinate amount of chocolate.

See you soon! I'm off to spread the love!