Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Anti-Nester of the Week: Rachel Ray
I'm sorry, really. But, I just HAVE to go there.
Everyone loves to hate her, but why? Hmmm...
My Top Five Reasons For Hating Rachel Ray
1. I'm not sure what she really does...but I'm pretty sure that I could've done it without her.
2. She's 100% Pure annoying.
3. She's a "chef" that endorses Dunkin' Donuts. Have you ever had a Dunkin' Donuts bagel? Would you endorse it? Exactly.
4. In the one full episode I've seen of her self-titled ABC show, she was cooking with Dr. Phil. Together they were making a one skillet lunch that consisted of:
One, bun-less, Beef Patty Topped with Smoked Mozzarella
A side of canned, cut string-beans (canned string-beans...ewww).
What? This is a cooking show? I may not be a great cook, but, I'm pretty sure the concept of hamburgers and canned vegetables falls under the category of: Lazy & Boring.
5. "Yummers!", "Delish!", and "EVOO" are all a form of brainwashing. There is a very distinct possibility, if I hear her utter them again, that I may shove my own septum into my brain. It's become so bad, even I find myself saying her little catch phrases, in my own fucking kitchen. Sacrilege. She must be stopped!
I leave you with these sentiments:
If we must toast to Rachel, let's do it old school, pick up a 40 oz-er of COLT 45©. You'll be so wasted by dinner...it won't matter what slop she throws down.