Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Anti-Nester of the Week: Rachel Ray


I'm sorry, really. But, I just HAVE to go there.

Everyone loves to hate her, but why? Hmmm...

My Top Five Reasons For Hating Rachel Ray

1. I'm not sure what she really does...but I'm pretty sure that I could've done it without her.

2. She's 100% Pure annoying.

3. She's a "chef" that endorses Dunkin' Donuts. Have you ever had a Dunkin' Donuts bagel? Would you endorse it? Exactly.

4. In the one full episode I've seen of her self-titled ABC show, she was cooking with Dr. Phil. Together they were making a one skillet lunch that consisted of:
One, bun-less, Beef Patty Topped with Smoked Mozzarella
A side of canned, cut string-beans
(canned string-beans...ewww).

What? This is a cooking show? I may not be a great cook, but, I'm pretty sure the concept of hamburgers and canned vegetables falls under the category of: Lazy & Boring.

5. "Yummers!", "Delish!", and "EVOO" are all a form of brainwashing. There is a very distinct possibility, if I hear her utter them again, that I may shove my own septum into my brain. It's become so bad, even I find myself saying her little catch phrases, in my own fucking kitchen. Sacrilege. She must be stopped!

I leave you with these sentiments:


If we must toast to Rachel, let's do it old school, pick up a 40 oz-er of COLT 45©. You'll be so wasted by dinner...it won't matter what slop she throws down.

5 comments:

EricDaRed said...

Just once.....
JUST ONCE!
I'd like to see her choke on whatever dish she is wolfing down. Then immediately yell "Wow that tasted like shit!"

It tastes good when it's free Rachel, doesn't it!?

ps...
somehow she was in maxim or fhm or somexim.
where's martha's spread!?
eww that sounds dirty. or tasty.

Marc said...

OMG! I super-hate that bitch! $40 a day, my ass. Bitch leaves a 72-cent tip on her $5.28 bill...I'd like to see the waitress come back and tell her to shove it up her ass! Bad enough she had one show, and now three! Barf.

Reid Hawkins said...

I cannot stand Rachel Ray! She endorsed BURGER KING! WTF? What ched endorses a FAST FOOD restaurant. Don't get me wrong a check is great but come on! When she first started her 30 minute meals, the idea was not that bad but needless to say it has been downhill in many respects!

Brooklyn Bitch said...

Eric- She WILL pay for her sins. Don't worry.

Marc- I get pissed about bad tippers too. What a whore-face she is...

Reid- I def. didn't know that she endorsed BK, and that is super fucked up. ANYONE endorsing BK, even a lay-person, is fucked up. But, a food personality? Can you say SELLOUT!

Lorraine Woodward said...

okay. first of all, that video was vaguely pornographic.

secondly, I must offer yet another reason to hate her. I was in the supermarket the other day, and actually saw RACHEL RAY E.V.O.O. ON THE SHELF!!!

God help us . . .